Joelle and Ethan set up an alternative gift registry for their wedding.  Here they share how they told their guests:

 

The registry gave us a place to talk about how much we'd welcome nonmaterial gifts. We wrote:

"Please find below a registry for some of the gifts we'd most welcome. You'll see that some of these gifts won't come in boxes. It would be a gift to us if you:

* gave a donation to one of the organizations below or

* offset the climate impact of your travel to Waltham or

* helped us with a few household items (used or new) that we need or

* did something creative we haven't thought of yet or

* any combination of the above!

But needless to say, this is a celebration of love, not stuff. The greatest gift is your presence in our lives and at the main event on August 17; the rest is commentary!"

 

The Alternative Gift Registry also let us tell stories about each suggested gift, which was fun. For example:

"On his way to becoming a math teacher, Ethan taught in a wonderful summer program, the Breakthrough Collaborative (aka "Summerbridge"), which matches college students considering a career in education with middle school students from at-risk backgrounds in two dozen cities. First, click "Give Gift" at right. Then, donate here."

 

"Several years ago, Joelle took Ethan's spaghetti server with her to a Shabbat potluck, and it never returned. Help ensure that their marriage begins without any lingering shadow cast by this unfortunate episode! We'd love a replacement like this one ($12), either previously-loved if you've got an extra, or new."

 

Image: Kuperberg Weddings

You don’t have to live and breathe environment to have an eco friendly wedding. Before you go to a meeting with a potential vendor, figure out what the things are that you care about – local origin? Carbon footprint? Organic? Make a short list of the things you want to ask your vendor about, and couple each item on your list with a one sentence explanation of why it is important to you as well as a definition of what the heck it means! For example, say you are concerned about food waste with your caterer. You may say, “I am interested in learning what happens to food that is prepared for our event and is not used. Do you have any way to reduce food waste or donate unused foods? We are trying to make our event as sustainable as possible, and finding ways to keep our food scraps out of the waste stream is something that is important to us.” 

Also, be realistic about the answers your vendors will be able to provide, especially at first exposure to these types of questions. For example, our conversation with our awesome baker led her to brainstorm out loud with us about the different local suppliers she knew of, and what she knew had to be shipped into the state during October. We didn’t expect her to be able to offer up a sheet calculating the percentage of organic ingredients in our cake or the carbon footprint of shipping raspberries across the continent. Not that it will be far from your minds while you are trying to make the most of your wedding budget, but remember that these guys are operating businesses too. If there is something that you would like a vendor to do, but that is going to cost the vendor a bundle or take too much of their time for them to oblige, try to meet them half way. Going back to the food example, if they can’t offer to deliver compostable material to a farm, ask them to simply bag up the food waste, and do the legwork yourself finding a local farmer who will accept it. Then, the day after the wedding, get one of the slightly wobbly groomsmen to cart the materials there. 

From Sara and Dean's wedding, courtesy of Samantha Warren Weddings

 

Joann, a professional designer, who had her wedding on a vineyard in California last fall suggested using seasonal colors as a way to enhance decor (and save money).

"My theme colors were blood orange, dark red and brown. Because we got married in September, and we knew the vineyard was turning into those colors, we picked that combination to accent the surroundings. It's a good tip to consider if you dont have a specific color that you must have, and you dont want to spend/decorate too much on creating a whole new color palette against the existing environment."

Image from Jewelry by Cheryl

One thing that I learned from our wedding was that no matter how good your intentions are it is essential to give the cleanup crew a list of what you want saved (the candles, the chargers, the framed table numbers, etc.) or some recyclable/reusable/resalable things WILL go into the trash can.  We lost almost $1000 worth of dishes and decorations because of bad communication! 

My husband and I planned a three day destination wedding with events that started Friday night and went straight through until Monday afternoon. Because we were so busy with last minute planning and organizing neither of us slept for the three nights leading up to the wedding. By the time guests started to arrive I was ready to go to sleep and by Monday morning, when all of the adrenaline had worn off, I felt physically ill. You wedding is such an incredible time, and there are so many people you will want to spend time with that you need to be well rested to really enjoy it. Do whatever it takes to get the rest and time off you need leading up to the big day! You will want to remember every moment - an impossible task if you are only half awake.

Reader Comment:
Although many brides opt for a prescription sleep aid - there are a number of natural ways to ensure a good night sleep. The most natural way to sleep is to avoid afternoon caffeine, exercise and practice deep breathing. If that doesn't work, and it never does for me, you can do what I do and take an herbal supplement like Valerian. Works like a charm.


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